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Clouds, take me into your arms
let cold, take grip of my veins -
giving me life that comes after death,
Rebirth will make of me a crow.
Not mynah nor peacock nor parrot
nor gentle lovely snow white dove -
For my thoughts shall always be as dark,
as the dark coarse feathers of the crow.
I shall live on the highest mountain
on its highest coldest peak;
Solitude there is what I shall find,
and that is the food I seek.
And someday, I shall fall down to earth
come, fellow friends, rip me apart-
For though mother Nature claims my flesh
up in the cloudy skies soars my heart.
this poem is pretty significant about me, my thoughts at one point of my life last year
It's like, in the end, arent we all like solitary travellers on our own path, our own friend and enemy
eh what i love most about this poem is you can look at it in so many different ways and meanings there isn't a final definition for it
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CheckeredFuture Featured By Owner Apr 12, 2009
The no-rhyme/rhyme scheme did not bother me at all.
It feels like you're moving from a place of darkness/frustration to illumination/acceptance in content and format. :)

I love this. As you said, it can be interpreted many ways, but I see it as optimistic. :)
bugsymoron Featured By Owner Apr 12, 2009
I like your interpretation very much:nod: It is grimly optimistic, like how to come to the end of the tunnel is meant to flood us with only light despite the darkness we've been consumed by.

Thank you for commenting:aww:
CheckeredFuture Featured By Owner Apr 13, 2009
Exactly! You say it better. :)

You're welcome!

Thanks for being so supportive of my work. I hope I can find a way to return the favor. :nod:
bugsymoron Featured By Owner Apr 15, 2009
Hey anytime:glomp: I still have much more of your gallery to see, but I promise soon as I can I'll get around to it!=D
CheckeredFuture Featured By Owner Apr 16, 2009
No worries! Life trumps dA. ;)
I love it!
bugsymoron Featured By Owner Jun 10, 2007
im glad to know that:aww: it's one of my favourites as well hee!
Tattersail Featured By Owner Apr 9, 2007  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Clouds, take me into your arms
with the cold gripping at my veins. sounds better if you remove the "at".

Your punctuation is a bit inconsistent throughout the poem, so you should probably take a look at that.

I think you've got some nice imagery in your poem and your rhyme is nice:)
bugsymoron Featured By Owner Apr 10, 2007
hmm yeah with the changes it does seem better now. Thanks dude=)
Tattersail Featured By Owner Apr 10, 2007  Hobbyist Digital Artist
no problem! I'm glad I could offer some sensible critique:D
Saphire282 Featured By Owner Mar 14, 2007  Hobbyist Writer
I suppose we must all tread on, with or without someone. but at the same time I am kinda optimistic and still hold onto the idea that were never alone, at least not in the spiritual sense.
bugsymoron Featured By Owner Mar 18, 2007
yeah you're right it is an optimistic way of looking at life.. but does that mean it's real?:hmm:
i really tried at this one time to believe it was but Nothing changed at all to like better things then, what i guess could have been the worst time of my life.. so i just gave up thinking that way. Now i find it works to just believe in your ownself, and Fate.
Maybe it just works for some, and for some it doesnt:shrug:
Saphire282 Featured By Owner Mar 18, 2007  Hobbyist Writer
I understand... it is good to believe in yourself anyway.
enslavedsphinx Featured By Owner Mar 12, 2007
nice imagery! and you are absolutely right, "there isn't a final definition for it."..
and that makes it great..
i like the last 2 lines, (again)..
i just learn from this poem..ending your poem greatly such this, is like killing someone with a gun, first shooting different body parts, and then, *bang* , there goes the last bullet - - - headshot!!!...
im sure im gonna fave this..
BuryThePagesWeKnew Featured By Owner Feb 4, 2007   Writer
Ah, it took me a while to check out your stuff, on account of school and all. ><"

The rhyme scheme didn't kick in until the second half, which threw me off, and I was surprised that it did start to rhyme. It got my attention, which was nice. Intentional, right?

I really like the imagery at the end though. Cool. (=
bugsymoron Featured By Owner Feb 5, 2007
intentional, i really dont know, i wrote this while holidaying in Sri Lanka like a year ago, on this mountaintop.. i was just sitting looking over the whole place, miles n miles of mountains all around.. n then this crow came n landed next to me. Id been trying to write something else, but right then this suddenly came to me, just like that, n i wrote it down as it came, in like less than five minutes. I didnt edit it afterwards. Dont think i will either, it's kindf special to me the way it is, u know. :aww:
anyway, glad you liked it! :thanks:
ThornyEnglishRose Featured By Owner Jan 31, 2007  Hobbyist Writer
This poem has a very lovely sense of freedom. Your use of nature imagery is beautiful, and I absolutely love the last two lines.
Heart-Bound-By-Kyubi Featured By Owner Jan 31, 2007   Writer
Switching to using rhyme towards the end (the last 8 lines) threw off the poem's feel. Unless that is the point, choose one or the other.

I liked the imagery used, as well as the idea and emotion behind it. It will be perfect after a little more work ^_^
dreamtides Featured By Owner Jan 30, 2007
An odd but nice mix of dark and light. A bit sad, but at the same time the end is very uplifting.
Flan13 Featured By Owner Jan 27, 2007  Professional Writer
I like the bird imagery with this... I use it a lot for I dream about flying into the clouds as a bird quite aften :D
liv-resist Featured By Owner Jan 20, 2007
Really like this, interesting use of language.
OzanaruSyra Featured By Owner Jan 19, 2007
Interesting style, dark but not without creativity. Wonderful work, I like it.
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Submitted on
January 19, 2007
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