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Submitted on
January 19, 2007
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Clouds, take me into your arms
let cold, take grip of my veins -
giving me life that comes after death,
Rebirth will make of me a crow.
Not mynah nor peacock nor parrot
nor gentle lovely snow white dove -
For my thoughts shall always be as dark,
as the dark coarse feathers of the crow.
I shall live on the highest mountain
on its highest coldest peak;
Solitude there is what I shall find,
and that is the food I seek.
And someday, I shall fall down to earth
come, fellow friends, rip me apart-
For though mother Nature claims my flesh
up in the cloudy skies soars my heart.
this poem is pretty significant about me, my thoughts at one point of my life last year
It's like, in the end, arent we all like solitary travellers on our own path, our own friend and enemy
eh what i love most about this poem is you can look at it in so many different ways and meanings there isn't a final definition for it
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:iconcheckeredfuture:
CheckeredFuture Featured By Owner Apr 12, 2009
The no-rhyme/rhyme scheme did not bother me at all.
It feels like you're moving from a place of darkness/frustration to illumination/acceptance in content and format. :)

I love this. As you said, it can be interpreted many ways, but I see it as optimistic. :)
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:iconbugsymoron:
bugsymoron Featured By Owner Apr 12, 2009
I like your interpretation very much:nod: It is grimly optimistic, like how to come to the end of the tunnel is meant to flood us with only light despite the darkness we've been consumed by.

Thank you for commenting:aww:
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:iconcheckeredfuture:
CheckeredFuture Featured By Owner Apr 13, 2009
Exactly! You say it better. :)

You're welcome!

Thanks for being so supportive of my work. I hope I can find a way to return the favor. :nod:
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:iconbugsymoron:
bugsymoron Featured By Owner Apr 15, 2009
Hey anytime:glomp: I still have much more of your gallery to see, but I promise soon as I can I'll get around to it!=D
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:iconcheckeredfuture:
CheckeredFuture Featured By Owner Apr 16, 2009
No worries! Life trumps dA. ;)
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:iconfadingsymphonyofdawn:
Wow...
I love it!
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:iconbugsymoron:
bugsymoron Featured By Owner Jun 10, 2007
im glad to know that:aww: it's one of my favourites as well hee!
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:icontattersail:
Tattersail Featured By Owner Apr 9, 2007  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Clouds, take me into your arms
with the cold gripping at my veins. sounds better if you remove the "at".

Your punctuation is a bit inconsistent throughout the poem, so you should probably take a look at that.

I think you've got some nice imagery in your poem and your rhyme is nice:)
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:iconbugsymoron:
bugsymoron Featured By Owner Apr 10, 2007
hmm yeah with the changes it does seem better now. Thanks dude=)
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:icontattersail:
Tattersail Featured By Owner Apr 10, 2007  Hobbyist Digital Artist
no problem! I'm glad I could offer some sensible critique:D
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