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Submitted on
June 23, 2007
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Mute me.

Whatever I say - or not -  
shall find indifference
in my cremated gut.

Deposed from your ranking
I hence made up my own -
Deserted from all devotion
how could you,
your very soul to disown.

Love rests on a whisper
murmured over your head;
and slips silently, silently,
on to the land of the dead.
Submission to the :iconrawem0tion: theme Emotionless.
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:iconactualtwilight:
actualtwilight Featured By Owner Jul 20, 2007   Writer
"when you got a million things to say and crap to get out but not a soul really listens"

I hate it when that happens...if you ever need to talk, I'm here for you. I love the poem too, btw...as that's what this comment really is about. Fantastic....just over all, I really can't decide what I like about it....but I love it.
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:iconprincekarr:
Princekarr Featured By Owner Jul 20, 2007  Hobbyist General Artist
Very good imagery
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:iconbugsymoron:
bugsymoron Featured By Owner Jul 21, 2007
thanks dude=)
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:iconenslavedsphinx:
enslavedsphinx Featured By Owner Jul 17, 2007
1-3 stanza:
Lamentations!
Pain.
Sorrow.
Grief.
Unimportance.
Emotions that should not be felt and kept in
every corner of our heart. [Yet, I sometimes find me self happy feeling it.]

4:
Love is a "Equivalent Trade." It can not survive alone.

Great work of containing such feeling as this - in a short 4-stanza poem.

"Whatever I say - or not -
shall find indifference" - Great contrast that if understand deeper, will help us understand the content of the poem.

Great!!!
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:iconbugsymoron:
bugsymoron Featured By Owner Jul 21, 2007
it's weird eh, but i agree with you... sometimes my dark side of emotions helps keep me in check, you know?

Interpreted pretty well. Your taking the time to comment like that means a lot dude, thanks!
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:iconenslavedsphinx:
enslavedsphinx Featured By Owner Jul 21, 2007
=D
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:iconsaphire282:
Saphire282 Featured By Owner Jul 2, 2007  Hobbyist Writer
ahh a very hard time, one that I am not even sure you vent out of it.

I loves these two lines

Deposed from your ranking
I hence made up my own -
Reply
:iconbugsymoron:
bugsymoron Featured By Owner Jul 21, 2007
heh yeah... comes now and again, but it's passed over for now:shrug:

and thanks glad you liked it!
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:iconclaudiacasanova:
ClaudiaCasanova Featured By Owner Jul 1, 2007
This is very touching. My favorite line is whispers over you head. Lovely, lovely poem:heart: Insta-fav! lol
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:iconbugsymoron:
bugsymoron Featured By Owner Jul 1, 2007
:aww:thank you thank you=D:bow:
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