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Mute me.

Whatever I say - or not -  
shall find indifference
in my cremated gut.

Deposed from your ranking
I hence made up my own -
Deserted from all devotion
how could you,
your very soul to disown.

Love rests on a whisper
murmured over your head;
and slips silently, silently,
on to the land of the dead.
Submission to the :iconrawem0tion: theme Emotionless.
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:iconactualtwilight:
actualtwilight Featured By Owner Jul 20, 2007   Writer
"when you got a million things to say and crap to get out but not a soul really listens"

I hate it when that happens...if you ever need to talk, I'm here for you. I love the poem too, btw...as that's what this comment really is about. Fantastic....just over all, I really can't decide what I like about it....but I love it.
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:iconprincekarr:
Princekarr Featured By Owner Jul 20, 2007  Hobbyist General Artist
Very good imagery
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:iconbugsymoron:
bugsymoron Featured By Owner Jul 21, 2007
thanks dude=)
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:iconenslavedsphinx:
enslavedsphinx Featured By Owner Jul 17, 2007
1-3 stanza:
Lamentations!
Pain.
Sorrow.
Grief.
Unimportance.
Emotions that should not be felt and kept in
every corner of our heart. [Yet, I sometimes find me self happy feeling it.]

4:
Love is a "Equivalent Trade." It can not survive alone.

Great work of containing such feeling as this - in a short 4-stanza poem.

"Whatever I say - or not -
shall find indifference" - Great contrast that if understand deeper, will help us understand the content of the poem.

Great!!!
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:iconbugsymoron:
bugsymoron Featured By Owner Jul 21, 2007
it's weird eh, but i agree with you... sometimes my dark side of emotions helps keep me in check, you know?

Interpreted pretty well. Your taking the time to comment like that means a lot dude, thanks!
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:iconenslavedsphinx:
enslavedsphinx Featured By Owner Jul 21, 2007
=D
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:iconsaphire282:
Saphire282 Featured By Owner Jul 2, 2007  Hobbyist Writer
ahh a very hard time, one that I am not even sure you vent out of it.

I loves these two lines

Deposed from your ranking
I hence made up my own -
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:iconbugsymoron:
bugsymoron Featured By Owner Jul 21, 2007
heh yeah... comes now and again, but it's passed over for now:shrug:

and thanks glad you liked it!
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:iconclaudiacasanova:
ClaudiaCasanova Featured By Owner Jul 1, 2007
This is very touching. My favorite line is whispers over you head. Lovely, lovely poem:heart: Insta-fav! lol
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:iconbugsymoron:
bugsymoron Featured By Owner Jul 1, 2007
:aww:thank you thank you=D:bow:
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:iconravencalhoun:
RavenCalhoun Featured By Owner Jun 24, 2007   Writer
Wow, amazing imagery used here. What a piece! Instant :+favelove:
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:iconbugsymoron:
bugsymoron Featured By Owner Jun 24, 2007
heh... i just let one of my very good friends read it...after several communication probs between us lately.. try give him the hint... and after reading for some ten minutes he just said blankly "Im lost."
..yeah... so much for the attempt eh..:roll:

anyway, thankya:hug:
Reply
:iconfrankieofthehills:
frankieofthehills Featured By Owner Jun 23, 2007
I really like this one, very very moving. "in my cremated gut.- such disturbing and fantastic imagery. You really have a way with words :D :+fav:
Reply
:iconbugsymoron:
bugsymoron Featured By Owner Jun 23, 2007
woa, that was fast:lol:
thanks for the comment, so sweet:hug: and thanks for the :+fav:!!
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